A Truthful Look Into My Life's Journey

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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

I just finished reading this book.

 I have to say that when I saw another book on marriage was coming out, my first impression was to think: : “What is Mark and Grace Driscoll going to say that I haven’t heard before?”  Honestly, in most cases, the concepts of friendship and how God views marriage is not new. In fact there are a lot of books out there that will tell you a lot of the same stuff.

What made it stand out for me was that the concepts presented weren’t from a “case study” point of view. This came from the story of their lives together. What they did wrong and what they work on doing right to make thier marriage stronger is what kept me reading. To top it all off, they were dealing with a lot of these issues while starting and pastoring a large church which takes the things they had to deal with and the ramifications if they couldn’t work things out to a whole nother level.

Another thing that stood out for me is how the Gospel is applied and scripture is exalted, not psychological techniques, to each area covered, which is something that  you don’t see normally. Most books are “you-focused” its all about you: your behavior, your actions, your feelings, your desires, ect. This is where this book deviates from the conventional. It talks about how to be a servant to your spouse, how to forgive, how to choke the root of bitterness in your life, and recognize destructive patterns of behavior in your marriage that you inherited from your parents.

I also love the simplified way in which Mark and Grace explore the various ways we express our love sexually to our spouse and is it a way that is scripturally healthy and benefical as a married couple.

There are a lot more things I enjoyed but I think you need to go and get a copy for yourself and check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

Kevin

 I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Posted by  |  January 24, 2012 | Categories: blogging, Book Review, marriage, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave A Comment »

When Things Don’t Change

god

Image by the|G|™ via Flickr

In my 38 (almost 39)years on this Earth, I have seen so many things change. I have seen myself get older, my children transform before my eyes and become teens, and my career path change quite a few times. Change is inevitable.

The New Year has begun and for many it is a new start. It is a new opportunity to make some changes in our lives that maybe we didn’t have the gumption to do before. The types and quantity of resolutions are endless.

The problem is when things don’t change.

You’re still the same weight. Your marriage is still a mess. Your kids still hate your guts. Your finances are still a wreck. You still hate your job.

The blame game begins on the things that didn’t change. Despair  and disappointment set in and you’re done.

The year comes to a close again, and you resolve to make “the next year”, the “year” everything changes, and the cycle continues on. The failure to see change continues.

The following reasons things don’t change sometimes are things that I have come to understand about myself and still walk through and wrestle with all the time. I don’t claim to have mastered them, but I believe they will help you.

1)  We don’t see the change in the circumstances around us is because of our failure to see the change that needs to take place inside of us.

Many times things need to change inside of us in order for things to change before things can change in the outside world. We have attitudes, mindsets, and ways of thinking that need to change. Perhaps you are filled with pride or you lack mercy, or you lack character. If the way we think or see things doesn’t change, we would doom everything we want to accomplish. Left to our own devices, because of the sinful, fallen nature we have, we would mess it all up. We may see this as God torturing us or denying us what we want but this is His mercy on us that He doesn’t gives us what we want, when we want it. This is definitely a tough pill to swallow. No doubt.

2)  We don’t see change because we are looking for something outside of Christ that can only be found in Him alone.

This one is huge. Many of the things we desire for ourselves are merely a substitute for something we can find in Christ alone. Whether it’s security, love, acceptance, or provision, God wants to fill all of these things in our lives. All too often we turn to our jobs, our spouses, our kids, or even doing good things to fill the longing of our hearts. The problem is that they never bring lasting joy to our lives. God is jealous for our hearts and He will not let anything bring true fulfillment outside of Him and what Jesus did on the cross.

I have no doubt that all of you wrestle with these things in varying degrees. There may some of you that this may be an eye-opener for you. My prayer for you (and me) is that we will have ears to hear, eyes to see, and teachable heart to allow God to reveal us those things we need to learn. That we would be able to look back on the previous year, and see how far God has brought us all.

The one thing I am grateful for that doesn’t change is how much Jesus loves you and me.

God bless your New Year

Kevin

Posted by  |  January 4, 2012 | Categories: Food for Thought, Life Experiences, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave A Comment »

The Day After Advent

English: Adoration of the Wise Men by Murillo

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 The Advent season seems to be more meaningful every year as God reveals more and more the wonder of what He did in coming to this fallen, corrupted, and doomed world. Becoming a man, lived a life of total obedience to the Father’s will in sinless perfection, and lived to be a perfect sacrifice to redeem this world. In paticular, He came and revealed Himself to me; a fallen, sinful, doomed soul and chose to save me despite the fact that by my actions I could merit no favor.

I can’t imagine the splendor of the heavenly hosts that the sheperds saw. The wonder of wise men who travelled from the East to a small town, to a stable where they would behold the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords and pay homage. These things are beyond my minds eye can fathom.

I was just sitting here thinking: “What about the day after Advent?”

The angels are no longer lighting up the heavens, the sound of angel song ceases, and now all that the sheperds hear is the bleating of sheep.

The wise men begin their trip back home, but their thoughts travel back to a stable in Bethlehem and questions of: “Did we truly see the King of the Jews? Did we follow the right star? Why is a king lying in a manger?” begin to dance in their heads.

Did Advent come and open your heart and mind with wonder and fill your heart with hope? What about the day after Advent? Once you were feeling the joy of spending time with family and now you are saying goodbye and going back to “the same ole same old ”. Songs of His glorious birth are replaced by the honking of horns on your morning commute to work. The trees that held under its branches items things you really wanted, is now empty and your heart still yearns for something more.

The day after Advent is more important than the day of. This is the day that you have to truly experience the joy of His coming.

You will face the trials and tribulations of life. You will have to go to work. You will have to face the same people that you had a problem with. Life doesn’t stop because of Advent, it begins!

Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Jesus didn’t come to remove you from your life. He came that He might live His life in you and through you! His Advent gives us hope that tomorrow will be better than yesterday. Because He lives in you and me we can face tomorrow. His coming was not just into a manger, but because He came, He now dwells in the hearts of His people!

So this day forward, we are no longer lost, but we have been found. We no longer have to live our lives to appease an angry God, but His sacrifice covers and clothes us in His righteousness. We have more reason to celebrate Advent today than we did on Christmas so let us declare His greatness each and every day, knowing His Advent brought us eternal life!

Kevin

Posted by  |  December 28, 2011 | Categories: Food for Thought, God's Love, Holidays | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave A Comment »

Walking in The Light

Chicago, Illinois. In the waiting room of the ...

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1 John 1:5-10:

 

5This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

 

We discussed this passage of scripture a little in prayer Wednesday night. I have been thinking about it ever since. There is some wonderful, liberating, truth here.

 

 Verse 5 says that God is light and in Him there is no darkness. It goes on to say in verse 6 that if we walk in darkness, we are not practicing the truth and we are liars. Seems pretty harsh, but John is getting ready to pop the top on something wonderful!

 

7) But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from ALL sin. The key is walking in the light (which we established that God is the light). If we skip to verse 10 for a second, the scripture tells us if we say we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and His word is not in us.

 

When we walk in the light, the light (God) exposes our darkness (sin). If there is no light (His truth), then we walk in darkness (sin) and we do not have fellowship with each other and His truth can’t be in us. In order for us to see our sin (darkness) we must walk in His light. The greatness of this comes in verse 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

God knows we are sinners. His light exposes our darkness, but it is the fact that the light opens our eyes to see our sin, and also opens our eyes to what Christ did on the cross. Now, because of what He did, we can walk in the grace that His death bought for us! That allows us to approach God, confess our sin, and to be cleansed from ALL sin! Thank you Jesus!

 

When we refuse to confess our sin, and try to hide the darkness inside us; when we conceal our sin like Adam and Eve tried to cover their naked bodies, we are not allowing His truth to set us free, or receive His forgiveness in our lives.  

 

Let’s walk in the light today. Let’s not be ashamed, but walk in the truth that in fact we are spectacular sinners, but we have been saved by a spectacular God and we no longer have to walk in shame, but know we are forgiven because of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice.

Kevin

Posted by  |  October 28, 2011 | Categories: Bible Study, Fear, God's Love | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

It’s All His

"The Blue Marble" is a famous photog...

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Psalm 24

1 The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof,
   the world and those who dwell therein

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
I’ve been meditating on this passage of scripture last night and this morning. If we don’t meditate on the scripture, we can lose a lot of meaning from God’s Word.

 We say “Yeah, the Earth is the Lord’s. That’s kind of a given isn’t it”? Not really.

If we start looking at our lives in relation to the Gospel, we don’t live like the Earth is the Lord’s. If we are honest, we live like our lives our ours to choose to live how we want, we spend our money like it is ours and we can do what we want, and we pick scripture that we choose to follow and others we choose to “not listen to”.

That phrase “and the fullness thereof ” accentuates the fact that everything truly belongs to Him and Him alone. From the oxygen you breath, your family, to the things that you worship and give a greater place to than Him. It is all His!

Do we (includes me) act like our lives are truly His? Do our actions reflect a life submitted to Christ? I’m sure everyone can say there is something they are struggling to trust and give God control of. This is why we need His grace so terribly. Our need reflects our inadequacy. Our struggle for control reveals our powerlessness.

Jesus does allow us to experience failure, loss, hunger, frustration, poverty. It is not out of anger that God does this because has already paid the full penalty for our sins and transgressions. He took the consequenses for disobedience, the shame of our failures, and the punishment for our transgressions. What didn’t God do that allows me to go through these things? Why do we suffer? We suffer to bring Him glory, that in these weak, disobedient, wicked shells that will one day pass away, His glory can be made manifest. I am no longer being punished for my sin. I may be disciplined, but I am never rejected. We are His children, and the Father disciplines those He loves. I may go through difficult times but the Father will never leave or forsake us. EVER. We experience suffering because our hearts wander, we lack trust in Him, or we try to find our needs met outside of Christ.

Why do we struggle financially? It is because we do not trust God to provide so we strive, stress, and look for any other way under the sun to find security and sustenance. He will allow us to continue to struggle financially not as a punishment, but that we may through that suffering come to the understanding that He is our provider. Why do people struggle to find peace and turn to drugs and alcohol? It is because they do not find peace in the cross of Christ and do not allow God to bear the weight of our cares. God allows us to experience this lack of peace till we understand where we are to find true peace.

The Lord contends for our hearts. His Spirit works in our lives to make us aware of our need for Him, and reminds us that everything belongs to Him.

Kevin

Posted by  |  September 15, 2011 | Categories: christian living, Food for Thought | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave A Comment »

Do You Think Your House in Order?

What a mess!! Right? Can you imagine someone coming into your house and completely trashing it? Can you imagine someone flipping tables over, ripping up your couch, and putting holes in your walls? Can you imagine someone taking your treasured photographs, gifts you received from your spouse, or awards for your achievements and tearing them up, mangling them, or smashing them to pieces? After all, why would anyone do that? Right? Well what if I told you God does this (in a manner of speaking)?

Well let’s take a look at some scripture:

1 Samuel 30:

1) Now when David and his men came to Ziklag on the third day, the Amalekites had made a raid against the Negeb and against Ziklag. They had overcome Ziklag and burned it with fire 2) and taken captive the women and all who were in it, both small and great. They killed no one, but carried them off and went their way. 3) And when David and his men came to the city, they found it burned with fire, and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. 4) Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep. 5) David’s two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6) And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters.

This passage of scripture has lots of Gospel implications. I will try to stay on point here. Here is David, man after God’s own heart, chosen to be king of Israel after Saul, a man who could have killed Saul a number of times in his sleep, but chose to walk in integrity, for all intents and purposes, a man doing the right things with God’s protection and favor on his life. David comes back home only to find his home burned to the ground and his wife and the families of his men taken into captivity, and to top it off, his men are about ready to kill him because of all this. Doesn’t sound like a good situation for David does it? Obviously there was a lot of criticism of the way David ran things, since David decided to leave the city and their families unprotected while they went off to fight elsewhere. People would probably say that he didn’t have his ducks in a row. 

In most circles today, people would say that “the devil must really hate David to attack him like this”. Or he would have faced a lot of  bad media press and calls for David to be replaced with a more competent leader. A lot of times we see tragedy, trials, and tribulations as attacks of Satan or just stupidity on our part (and these do happen and the devil is real), but rarely do we see the hand of  the Potter moving in our lives.

 I was praying one day and I saw the inside of my house. It looked like someone had come in and flipped tables over and moved things around a bit. It was a mess. It took me a while, but I managed to clean up the mess and get everything put back in place and it even looked better than before the “vandals” got in and messed things up. I was very happy with the way it looked and I thought “man, I would love for people and come over and check out how nice it all looks”. Well, I was brought back to the doorway of my house again, and when I opened the door expecting to see the house looking pristine and orderly, I was in for a shock. Not only was furniture flipped, but the couches were ripped open and the stuffing was all over, pictures were smashed and ripped, chairs were broken beyond repair, holes in the walls, just like the picture above. It was ruined beyond my ability to clean or repair.

It was then I heard God speak to me: He showed me that the things I have tried so hard to fix in my life were not necessarily the things He wanted me to fix (not that I had the power to do so in the first place). The more I arranged my house the way I thought it should look, the more dramatic the destruction would be when He comes in and does what He wants to do in my life. He showed me my lack of faith and trust in Him to bring me where He wants me to be, not where I think I should be.

God is not asking us to fix ourselves. What He is asking is that we trust Him. He is asking that we go when He says to go. He is asking us to rest under the shadow of His wing and take refuge and find our strength in Him. Change will come, but change that will last will never come by the work of our hands. Only through the finished work that Jesus Christ did on the cross will we ever find security, hope, and our destiny.

Posted by  |  September 13, 2011 | Categories: christian living, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave A Comment »

Book Review Principle of the Path (Andy Stanley)

I would like to say that this book kept me glued to the pages, but I just can’t say that. I found myself saying “Duh, I know this” more often than I had any real “ah” moments. I think most people know if they make bad decisions, those decisions can follow you for many years if not a lifetime. Perhaps this might be a book that a teen or young adult should read who is just starting out in life, but at 38 years old, you should have a good grasp of decisions and the consequenses of those decisions. Maybe I just didn’t get the point or it was just so obvious I lost interest . If a book doesn’t grab ahold of me within the first chapter, I have a difficult time staying focused. It was a chore to read for me.

I’m not giving it a ”bad” review, but I have read better books by Mr. Stanley.

Kevin

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Posted by  |  June 7, 2011 | Categories: Book Review | Tags: , , | Leave A Comment »

The Power of a Wastebasket

Blue Bin

Image by London Permaculture via Flickr

I order supplies for my department at work. This time when I made my order, I ordered new wastebaskets for everyone. The ones everyone had were so bad that the garbage bag in the wastebasket was holding the wastebasket together! We got the wastebaskets in today and as I passing them out and taking the old one out, everyone is talking about wastebaskets and you could sense an air of excitement and happiness as a result of getting the new wastebasket.

It seems like such a simple thing, and most of the people didn’t think about the fact that their wastebasket falling apart, but were so happy to have the new one which only helped to show the dilapidated shape of the ones they had. It also gave people some hope, because we have had quite a few people laid off in our department and seeing that the company is still investing in our area gave some people hope that there is a future for them.

It’s kinda like what the gospel does. God takes the old life that we have made a mess of, that is falling apart, and barely holding together, and seems useless, and replaces it with something so much greater, and new and gives us focus and purpose for our lives. We don’t even realize how out of control and a mess we are until we get a grasp of the gospel and realize how lost we truly were without Him.

We carry that power of hope within us by His Holy Spirit, and we have the opportunity to share that with others. If giving someone a wastebasket can bring some joy, imagine the joy of a person who hears the gospel and believes!

The power is yours, what will you do with it?

Kevin

Posted by  |  April 19, 2011 | Categories: Evanglism, Food for Thought, God's Love, Missional, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Emptiness of Medicating Ourselves

L1037042 windy day

Image by Susan NYC via Flickr

Lamentations 1:

18 “The LORD is in the right,
    for I have rebelled against his word;
but hear, all you peoples,
   and see my suffering;
my young women and my young men
   have gone into captivity.

 19“I called to my lovers,
   but they deceived me;
my priests and elders
   perished in the city,
while they sought food
   to revive their strength.

 20“Look, O LORD, for I am in distress;
    my stomach churns;
my heart is wrung within me,
   because I have been very rebellious.
In the street the sword bereaves;
   in the house it is like death.

 21“They heard my groaning,
   yet there is no one to comfort me.
All my enemies have heard of my trouble;
    they are glad that you have done it.
You have brought the day you announced;
   now let them be as I am.

Anytime we look for comfort, security, affirmation, peace, or joy aside from Christ, we will find ourselves sorely lacking and sorely disappointed.

Are you disappointed with God over something? Are you angry that He is not “changing you fast enough”? This is one that I have dealt with a lot. Are you disappointed that other people are being blessed and you are constantly in need or want? If yes is your answer to questions like these, you may be looking to “another lover” for something that only God can give, only God can fill or provide.

Is it tv you look for solace? Maybe it’s that big bowl of ice cream, or maybe it’s exercise, work, or even some sort of religious activity that gives you a sense of comfort or right standing with God. At some point, those lovers will fail to deliver, and you will be left scrambling for something else to find comfort in. It’s not until we become still and come to Him, not as a spoiled child who doesn’t like what they are having for dinner, but in true brokenness and humility. There’s something about true humility and brokenness that moves the heart of God. Medicating ourselves with things other than God fills us with pride that we “handled” the situation. Don’t be fooled. Only God can bring true, lasting change, joy, peace, and deliverence.

Will you continue to medicate the problem, or will you turn to Him in true repentance and humility?

Kevin

Posted by  |  March 31, 2011 | Categories: christian living, Food for Thought | Tags: , , , , | Leave A Comment »

Emotions and Faith

Hand raised in worship

Image by KOREphotos via Flickr

I was really challenged by this post by John Piper yesterday. The message is still ringing in my brain.

I was brought up in a Penecostal/Charismatic church background. Dancing, shouting, clapping were the norm. I saw a lot of people putting on a show to get attention, to get others to think they are “more spiritual”. LOTS of hype, lots of excess, lots of fakeness.

Now before you think I’m on a Charismatic bashfest, read on. In the past ten years I have seen the pendulum swing in the opposite direction for a lot of people who were a part of these churches who left for the reasons I raised a few sentences ago. Those who once exhibitted so much passion are now some of the most stoic, unemotional people I have seen. I raise this question:

Is there a disconnect between our emotion and our worship and walk with God?

My belief is yes. How do I know this?

When you sin, does it grieve you to the point of tears? Probably not. We have programmed ourselves to deflect that. Any negative emotion is bad, right? We work really hard to shut out sorrow and conviction. We are quick to label any negative emotion as condemnation and shut it out. What if, I mean really, what if we truly felt Godly sorrow that led to true repentance? What if we came together and repented of our sin because we have taken the sacrifice Christ made on the cross for granted?

Should we walk in condemnation? No, but if our sin does not break our heart because we are breaking the heart of God, then why change? Why bother? We spend a lot of time medicating ourselves with things (idols) to help us escape the stresses of life, but what if we are medicating ourselves at the cost of tuning the Holy Spirit out and tuning our emotions out so we don’t see that the stresses that we face are because we are walking in disobedience and God is trying to show us things in our lives that we need to repent of so we can walk in the joy God has for us? 

When you disconnect emotion from repentance you have empty confessions of sin that you have no intention or conviction of doing anything about.

When you think of what God has delivered you from and how He has changed your life, does it truly fill your heart with thanksgiving? We know in our head that we should be grateful, but how do you exhibit that gratefulness? Let me ask, “how can you exhibit true gratefulness without emotion?”

 Imagine if you gave your spouse or child something that you knew they wanted more than anything and they looked at you straight faced, hands in their pockets and said “thank you, I am so grateful” in a completely monotone voice. Is that reaction worthy of such a fantastic gift? Can you really do that? If your answer is “no”, then why do we go into church on Sunday, stank-face, put our hands on the seat in front of us and refuse (and I do mean  refuse) to take 15-20 minutes of your precious weekend to praise God who is worthy and has done so much for us, who are unworthy, with all of our might? We should leave church tired cause we worshipped our God with everything we have! We spend so much emotional energy on things that seek to drain us of our joy. Why not use that energy to praise our God with a heart of thanksgiving?  How big will those problems be when we exalt the name of Jesus over those things? 

When you disconnect emotion from your worship, you cannot have true worship.

God made us in His image. (Genesis 1:26-27) God has emotions. God loves (John 3:16) and God can be grieved (Genesis 6:6). Too often we connect our emotions to things other than God and it’s that desire for those things that make it so difficult for us to connect with God. Just like we can’t love our wife and a mistress we cannot set our affections and passions on other things and expect to have a passion for God and His kingdom. Until we identify these things we will struggle in our worship, struggle in our prayer life, struggle in sharing Christ with others.

Where our heart is, our emotions will follow. that is why we get upset when someone starts messing with our idols. That is why we are crabby when our luxuries and pleasures are removed from us. That’s why we grumble when we have Ramen to eat  and you really want a steak. Our emotions are attached to things and people rather than the person of Christ. The things that would upset you most if they were taken away are normally the biggest idol in your life.

Emotions are a gift from God. We should use them to draw closer to Him. Let’s glorify our God with them. I pray that we would all truly repent of the things that are keeping us from worshipping Him the way He truly deserves.

Kevin

Posted by  |  March 29, 2011 | Categories: Articles I Like, christian living, Food for Thought, Things That Inspire Me, worship | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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