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Marriage: Not for the Faint of Heart I
Can I get an amen from the married people out there?! I want to dedicate at least a couple of blogs to married couples. I have learned a lot of things through trial and error (lot’s of them) and still learning a ton. Marriage is a constant learning experience. The person you marry is not always the exact same person you will be married to in ten years. People change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. It’s how you react to the worse parts that tend to determine whether you will be married or divorced in the next ten years.
It’s funny, well maybe not, how when you met your spouse and “fell in love” with each other you could do little wrong. We overlook things that just don’t bother us all that much. After all, “we have the rest of our lives to deal with it”. It’s funny, well maybe not, that after a few years those things are no longer a “personality quirk” and become the issues that threaten to destroy the commitment that both of you gave each other before God. Let me share some marriage myths with you:
1) I Can Change My Spouse.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is the biggest one of all! It really is! There is only one that can bring true change to the core of a person is God. You have the ability to change certain habits and behaviors or your own but not your spouse. God is the only one who can change the heart. If he was a liar when you met him, then unless God truly makes a change in his heart, then he will continue to struggle with being truthful. If she is shy and reserved when you met, don’t expect to make her a public speaker. God made people unique and different. You are not God. The most powerful thing you can do for a spouse that has disappointed you and continues to is to pray for them. Every day. God will bring change, either to them or maybe (gasp) even you!
2) My Spouse has Been Around Me Long Enough to Know What I Like and What I Need
NOT! LOL! Just like people change for better for worse, your spouse’s needs change. What you thought he or she liked is not always what they really want. This leads to lots of fights and arguements among couples. It is the reason people look outside the marriage for getting their needs (which will never really get them met and will lead to divorce in a hurry). A great book to take a look to determine what your needs and desires are is “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. it is a great resource to find out what your spouse really wants or least how to meet your spouses’ emotional and physical needs. I found this quiz that will help give you an idea and your spouse what matters most to them. I encourage to take this quiz. Both of you.
(This part is for the guys. So if you are a woman, scroll down past this part)
Yeah, I didn’t think you would ladies so here I go anyway guys. Looking at the picture at your desk at work is not spending quality time together. Grunting when you walk in the door will not woo your woman. It takes words to communicate. (I am guilty of this guys) You have to tell her what you want too. Since you ladies are reading this part, when a man opens up and tells you what he wants and is opening up to you, it is not the time to release the years of the frustration you have been building up for a moment like this. There are constructive ways of getting what you both want but blasting your man will not only guarantee he will not say a word again, but will guarantee you won’t be getting your needs met either. At least not with the exuberant attitude you would like. There is nothing worse than a spouse (this goes for men and women) doing something with a bad attitude. It really ruins it and makes whatever it is a meaningless gesture.
I will share some more myths later. Maybe I will get my beautiful wife to guest blog with me on one of these. Stay tuned!
One of His (Kevin)
Random Stuff
Man! I am trying so hard to not give away the stuff we have for Friday night’s Source Group Meeting! I will be posting this week, but you don’t want to miss Friday night at 7:00PM.
Had a great time at the Fraziers’ house yesterday. Had great fellowship and food!
Sunday’s message was off the chain! I had to listen to it again today!
A friend let me borrow his guitar effects pedal. I have been having a whale of a time playing with the millions of settings!
Finished up reading “Unchristian” by David Kinnaman. INCREDIBLE BOOK!
Started reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. So far so good. I am also getting into “Bible Doctrine” by Wayne Grudem. Not light reading, but we should know why we believe what we believe. I don’t know about anyone else but It drives me absolutely nuts when I don’t have an answer to a question! I will spend days and hours researching to find the answer! I know we don’t always have all the answers, but we should be able to sound intelligent when we say “I don’t know”!
My wife is awesome! I’m proud of her hard work to help make each sermons series at CFAN EPIC!
This is a very hard confession to make as a man, but my son is better than me at HALO! At least for a moment! I need some more practice!
My daughter Selena just turned 12 a few days ago! My little baby girl isn’t so little anymore!
That’s enough for now, as they say in the South, see yall later!
One of His (Kevin)
Steven Curtis Chapman Family Tradgedy
Please be in prayer for the Chapman family. I’m sure many have heard but there may be some who haven’t, that his 5 year old daughter was struck and killed by a vehicle driven by one of Chapman’s older children by accident. It is a terrible event for any parent. Please remember their family in your prayers.
One of HIs (Kevin)
Tense Times II
This kind of continuation of what I have talked about in my previous blog. If you followed the news, the White House is denying that the had any plan to attack Iran at the moment. There are probably a lot of people that are breathing a sigh of relief. It just shows you why we need to be focused on what God is telling us personally. You will go nuts watching the tv! One minute this story comes out then a couple hours later it’s “OOOPS! It seems that the report we received was not accurate. Sorry.” Let’s take a look in the bible at the book of James Chapter 1:
5(J) If any of you lacks wisdom,(K) let him ask God,(L) who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6But(M) let him ask in faith,(N) with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like(O) a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8(P) he is a double-minded man,(Q) unstable in all his ways.
I want everyone to understand that no matter what is going (or not) in the world today, our focus needs to be on God. We hear so many things these days from all over the place (including the internet) that if we believe it all, you could go nuts! There are so many views on everything topic you can imagine. You may ask “what is the truth?” The truth is before you in that passage of scripture above. We should ask God for wisdom so we don’t listen and react to everything that comes from the tv or internet.
Are you tired of worrying about everything? Let God have those things that are concerning you. If you need to, lift your hands to Him as a gesture of your surrendering these things to Him. PIck up that Bible. Fill your mind with His Word and the great things that He has in store for you. You will see your perspective change and your heart will be filled with His peace.
One of His
Tense Times
The Jerusalem Post reported today that the president plans on attacking Iran before the end of his presidency. There are news reports that OPEC is expecting the price of a barrell of oil to reach $200. Genocide, famine, terrorism, high food and energy prices are not just things that third world countries are facing these days. It’s enough to make people have a very bleak picture of the future.
I’m not going to start painting rainbows and silver linings and ignore what is going on in the world. What I am going to tell you is that despite what happens in the world today, we have a hope, we have a God, that despite what is going on today, can and will take care of us. We have a greater source of provision than world could ever imagine! I believe the Bible when it says that God provided manna for the children of Israel. That same God that did this can supernaturally provide for you and me today. I have been flat broke without two pennies to rub together and God has provided. It has not always been filet mignon but man that Ramen or Beenie weenies can look like feast when your hungry enough!
You have a choice today. You can despair, fret, and worry about what is going on, or you can get on your knees and seek the one who has all power and sufficiency. This world is not a utopia. We will face trials in the days to come. Life is not easy. There may be days that we don’t know how we are going to make it. I have had those days. I am still here. YOU are still here! You made it this far so don’t despair. God is going to make a way. Believe it.
Reflections
I was just thinking about when I was a kid (around 5 years old). I remember my parents taking me to church and getting to go to children’s church. I loved it! I still remember my children’s church teacher Grace Garcia. She was such a nice lady. I loved the way she told the bible stories. I gave my heart to Jesus probably every Sunday!
I’m sure that if she wasn’t the one who led me to Christ, someone else may have. The point is she did. She gave of her time and invested it in a bunch of kids with no idea if these kids would ever serve God when they got older. It can be hard sometimes to see if what you are doing for God is making a difference in people’s lives. You may think that what you do doesn’t make a difference. Let me tell you it does! Every handshake, hug, lesson, note you do in His name makes a difference in someone’s life in some way. Just like a proud Father, God sees them all and He is pleased. Believe that!
Thanks Mrs. Garcia for what you have done for me. Every life I touch in His name is a credit to the contribution you made in my life. You are awesome!
One of His, or you would remember me as Kevin
Telling It Like It Is Old School Style
I was doing a little bit of John Wesley research and I came across this sermon he gave back on July 25th, 1741! It is titled “The Almost Christian”. Even back in his day he was telling it like it is! In a nutshell, cause he talked in the lingo of that time and might be hard to understand, he says that you can do all the right things and still not be a Christian. It’s like saying I “almost” a have my degree or a Vice-President saying they are ”almost” the president of the company. Let’s put it in an even clearer way: ” I go to church every Sunday, but I’m not sure about this Jesus thing”. “I think Jesus was a great teacher, but I’m not sure He was the son of God.”
Uncertainty is fine, ignorance is bliss. We have all questioned if God really exists. We all have had doubts at different times in our lives. Just because we go into Macdonalds doesn’t make us a cheeseburger, no more than going to church makes a Christian. Being a “good person” is awesome, we need a lot more folks like that in the world. Is being a “good person” enough? We should study out and pray about what we believe and don’t believe. Wesley says this about faith:
“The right and true Christian faith is, “not only to believe that Holy Scripture and the Articles of our Faith are true, but also to have a sure trust and confidence to be saved from everlasting damnation by Christ. It is a sure trust and confidence which a man hath in God, that, by the merits of Christ, his sins are forgiven, and he reconciled to the favour of God; whereof doth follow a loving heart, to obey his commandments.”
I would like to leave one more thought fom Wesley today:
“Hell is paved,” saith one, “with good intentions.” The great question of all, then, still remains. Is the love of God shed abroad in your heart? Can you cry out, “My God, and my All”? Do you desire nothing but him? Are you happy in God? Is he your glory, your delight, your crown of rejoicing? And is this commandment written in your heart, “That he who loveth God love his brother also”? Do you then love your neighbour as yourself? Do you love every man, even your enemies, even the enemies of God, as your own soul? as Christ loved you? Yea, dost thou believe that Christ loved thee, and gave himself for thee? Hast thou faith in his blood? Believest thou the Lamb of God hath taken away thy sins, and cast them as a stone into the depth of the sea? that he hath blotted out the handwriting that was against thee, taking it out of the way, nailing it to his cross? Hast thou indeed redemption through his blood, even the remission of thy sins? And doth his Spirit bear witness with thy spirit, that thou art a child of God?
Well?
One of His
Sad Day
I never visited Bell Shoals Baptist before. I didn’t know Pastor Forrest Pollock in any personal manner, but my heart bleeds for his family, his church and his friends. My prayers and thoughts are with everyone who is affected by this tragic event. I have seen many comments on the local news website that people have submitted regarding the situation. Most have been well wishes and prayers that people from all over are lifting up.
Unfortunately when you have an open forum, people who have a very sick, twisted, demented, thought processes also get an opportunity to share their thoughts. I could not believe that people were arguing the fact that a preacher has his own plane! In my own hurt, I would have liked to punch these people in the throat, repeatedly.
Even as I am trying to compose my thoughts and feelings, it just shows how much this generation has such a sick twisted view of Christianity and Christ-followers. This is both deserved and undeserved. It is not fair for those who are in the trenches on a daily basis, helping and ministering to people to be categorized as a thief and a liar. However, we (meaning the church as a whole Protestants and Catholics) have turned a blind eye for too long to what has been going on under our noses. Our silence has allowed the Jim Bakkers, JImmy Swaggarts, and countless other folks who have abused the kindness and generosity of others. We have countless children who have been sexually abused by men who were supposed to have dedicated their lives to the service of God and the church. We have through our apathy and self-centeredness created a monster that those looking for hope would rather do without. They would rather figure things out on their own rather than trust another man that will most likely let them down.
Those of us who share Christ with others have a rough road ahead of us. Many research firms show that people are leaving churches at an alarming rate. It’s interesting to note that we are also hearing more and more sick gruesome stories of the attrocities that people are inflicting on each other. If we want to reach people for Christ, we have to get real. We have to get real with ourselves, the people around us, and real with God. We need to stop acting like we don’t have problems. We need to quit putting on the perfect family appearance for people looking for hope in their marriage. Christian couples have their disagreements too (ask my beautiful wife, she’ll tell you). We have just as many challenges raising children. We have bad habits and behaviors too, that we have had a lot of time and practice trying to hide.
It breaks my heart to see good people taken out in the highest points of their lives. I understand what it’s like to lose someone you love so much. When I lost my mother, I just could not understand why her, and why at that point in time in her life. It makes no sense to me, but I am not God. It also breaks my heart that people would rather argue about him owning a plane than confront the attitude that makes people feel it is more important to talk about owning a plane at a time like this. We need God to change us so we we can change our communities and break down these walls that we helped build. I imagine that there are many thoughts that are being provoked right now. Please feel free to leave a comment. I have to go for now. Keep it real!
One of His
Crash Test Dummy Salvation
I have heard quite a few times from many different people say “I have prayed the sinner’s prayer, therefore I am saved.” Unfortunately, they take this as a liscense to do whatever they want. There are many folks who will proclaim that salvation is free and once you believe there is nothing else that needs to be done.
I find it very disturbing that people are willing to test God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness. I believe that my car has an airbag, but it doesn’t mean I am going to ram into another car to see if it deploys!What makes people think that if I say a prayer that I didn’t mean I have fire insurance. You may say “who are you to judge what I do?” Let me get something straight: I am not here to judge anyone. Only God is worthy to judge the motives of one’s heart. What I would say is that salvation is a process, not an event. The minister Charles Finney had this to say about salvation:
The fact is, that both terms imply the simultaneous exercise of both human and Divine agency. The fact that a new heart is the thing done, demonstrates the activity of the subject; and the word regeneration, or the expression “born of the Holy Spirit,” asserts the Divine agency. The same is true of conversion, or the turning the sinner to God. God is said to turn him, and he is said to turn himself. God draws him, and he follows. In both alike God and man are both active, and their activity is simultaneous. God works or draws, and the sinner yields or turns, or which is the same thing, changes his heart, or, in other words, is born again. The sinner is dead in trespasses and sins. God calls on him, “Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.”
Eph_5:14
. God calls; the sinner hears and answers, Here am I. God says, Arise from the dead. The sinner puts forth his activity, and God draws him into life; or rather, God draws, and the sinner comes forth to life. (‘Systematic Theology’ by Charles Finney)
Salvation is a process. He draws us to Himself, we become aware of seperation from Him, and we repent (turn away) from our sin. There are many scriptures that show us that this is a process:
1. we have been saved, “According to his mercy he saved us” (Titus 3:5), and “{God} has saved us and called us to a holy life” (2 Tim 1:9),
2. we are being saved, “For by grace are ye saved” (Eph 2:8), and “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phi 2:12),
3. we shall be saved, “much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life” (Rom 5:10) and “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” (I Tim 4:16).
I am the first to admit that there are things I struggle with. There are things that I do, that are not pleasing to God. I fail all the time. I am not perfect. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you or I have it all together. We fall, we repent, and we move on. This is a sign of a true believer. We live a life that draws us closer to God and further away from the things that seperate us from Him.
Are you doing the things that will bring you closer to Him? Is He your “Get Outta Hell Free” card? If that is your relationship with Him, I strongly recommend that before you put your salvation to the “Crash Dummy” test, that you really take a look at what you are doing and ask yourself some really hard questions. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
If you have any questions please email me at oneofhis73@yahoo.com or leave me a comment.
One of His
1400
No, this is not the title of a new blockbuster movie. However, this could be the spiritual journey of a lifetime. My Pastor MIchael Kyker has issued a challenge to our church body to pray daily for 15 minutes a day, everyday, for the next six months. I want to challenge those of you that may not go to Church for All Nations to also take up this challenge.
This is a time to pray for your community. This is a time to pray for your spiritual leaders. This is a time to pray for God to move in our cities. Most of all, it is time to ask God to change us. It is a time of repentance for the sins of our communities. This is the time to pray for ourselves that God will cause such a change in our lives that our realitives, friends, co-workers will see the difference. This is a time of self-discipline. If you are like me, it can be hard to spend that much time praying every single day. This will build a stronger discipline as Christians as we begin to put God back as a priority in our lives!
Does this not merit 15 minutes of our day? Join me and our body in this time of prayer and focus. I guarantee if you do this, you will notice a change in every area of your life. I believe as you acknowledge Him He will make those crooked paths in your life clear and straight. You will experience a depth in your spiritual life you haven’t experienced before!
I would love to hear from you folks that are going to take up the challenge. Leave a comment or shoot me an email at oneofhis73@yahoo.com. Also check out CFAN’s website: www.mycfan.com.
God Bless You and Everything You Set your Hand To
One of His
Momentum II
Yes, I wrote a post a few months ago with a similar title. I know. This is kind of a continuation of what God is doing in and through me.
Anyone who has been reading my posts can tell that I haven’t pulled many punches. I have been taking a lot of punches myself. God is pushing me, hard. He has been turning my thinking about church and what it means to be a Christ-follower. He is showing me that there things and ways of doing things that were effective in the past that are no longer effective and in some ways just flat wrong.
It is not easy when someone is telling you that you are not doing something you should be doing. It’s not easy to hear that you are doing something that you shouldn’t and to stop it! I hate it! What I hate even worse is the fact that I may have to change! AHHHHHH!!!!! Noone likes change. Some folks are more resistant than others. I have learned the more I resist what God wants to do in me, the more miserable I am. It is because I am telling God that I know how to live my life better. He will be more than patient and let me do my own thing, but He will be standing there when things blow up in our face ready to see if we are finally ready to listen. I find the more I listen and obey, the quicker I get through those times of change.
Is anyone out there being pushed? I would love to hear about it. We don’t have testimonies without tests. You never know when you might encourage someone else. It’s why I post these blogs. Please feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an email at: oneofhis73@yahoo.com.
Remember, you are not alone.
One of His
