On a Lighter Note
I know my posts aren’t the most light-hearted most of the times. So I thought I would share some Calvinist jokes that I found scouring the Internet:
How can you tell if you’re on a Calvinist train?
- They’re all Calvinist trains. You’re only going where they want you to go…
How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Well, is the lightbulb meant to be changed? Maybe this lightbulb was never intended to change. Maybe this light bulb is meant to stay dark.
How do you confuse a Calvinist?
- Offer them three cakes and say it’s up to them which one they eat.
What do you call a Calvinist ex-prisoner?
- A Reformed character.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on..
How many Calvinists?
Every Calvinist knows only God can change a lightbulb.
This is for the folks who think Charles Spurgeon was the Chuck Norris of the church!
CHUCK” SPURGEON FACTS:
-It was Chuck Spurgeon who wrote the book of Hebrews.
-A few of the early Puritans wanted Chuck Spurgeon to come preach, but most thought he was too extreme.
-Chuck Spurgeon once found Jesus in the second chapter of 1 Chronicles.
-Chuck Spurgeon once preached on Election and ended up converting people. That’s not a joke.
-Phillip Yancey’s book Where is God When it Hurts? was written after Chuck Spurgeon got a hold of him.
-They once tried to carve Chuck Spurgeon’s face into a graven image, but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard. Oh; and the craftsmen were struck dead.
-Once Chuck Spurgeon and John Piper held a contest to see who had the most of the five points of Calvinism. Chuck Spurgeon won. By eight.
What did the guardian angel say to the preterist as he carried him upwards during the 2nd coming to be resurrected with Christ?
“Surprise”
Enjoy,
Kevin
Sovereignty of God
I was reading a posting from John Piper today titled “Don’t Waste Your Cancer” . It just blows my mind the trust that he has in Christ despite the fact that he has cancer, and that God allowed him to have it for God’s purpose and plan.
My brain has a hard time wrapping itself around that thought sometimes. I was raised with the Good God Bad Devil point of view. God doesn’t cause bad things to happen, that’s just Satan. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, everyone said it was the devil trying to “take her out”.
I went along with this line of thinking till I had prayed all I could pray, I did all I knew to do, I rebuked satan as many times as I could, and she still was not getting better. There was a point where I had to concede that God had no plan on saving her life and for some reason, He saw it fit that she had to go through what she went through. It was ultimately His will!
We have been fed a load of crap from men with good intentions that have no clue (not that I have the corner on God or claim to understand His ways) about what His sovereign will is all about. Jesus came to save us, He did not necessarily come to give you lots of money, (not that that is a bad thing) or give you a life without trials and tribulation. He did not come to make “everything better”. He came because you were lost in your sin. You needed a Savior. Jesus came and suffered. He even told His disciples that they would face various trials and tribulations. He said you will suffer for My namesake. You will be beaten, persecuted, mocked, and killed. He also said that He would be with us as we are in the middle of these things. A far cry from the your blessing is right around the corner teaching that has gone around. Do I think He wants to bless us? Listen, He has already blessed us with the most precious gift. He has bestowed on us every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. The work is done. You are blessed! You are His child! He is your Father! Your fate is eternally sealed with Him!
Obey His Word and you will be blessed, but don’t obey to be blessed. You may need to read that a couple more times to get it.
Ultimately, I chose to believe that she was predestined to go through the things she went through to show the unbelieving that in the midst of suffering and pain, one’s faith can be just as strong, if not stronger then when everything is hunky dory. She was a shining example of faith in the face of impossible odds.
Let us worship Him with our lives as we conform ourselves to His will and His plan for our lives. Let us not waste our lives pursuing blessings, but let us allow Him to shine within us as we obey Him, no matter where we are, or what place He has put us.
Kevin
